Conscious Relationships Can Be Sexy!
During our work this week with a couple trying to improve their sexual relating, I found myself thinking about some of what goes into creating a more fulfilling sexual experience. After a little while, I had the thought that these elements are not just what’s needed for a better sexual experience, but are necessary for a better relationship and even a better life!
• Relax your body
• Slow wayyyyyyy down
• Get more present to your moment-to-moment experience
• Enjoy every pleasant sensation and try not to resist any unpleasant ones
• If something’s not working, stop and talk about it
• Stay in the moment and do your best to let go of future expectations or outcomes
• Become more aware of your own needs and fears
• Communicate your wishes clearly and lovingly
• Maintain a loving connection with your partner; look, laugh, share
• Let the experience unfold-delicious moment by delicious moment
• Ask for what you want without demanding that you get it
• Receive fully what you get and let go of what you don’t
• Feel all of your feelings without making them your partner’s fault
• Give to your partner in the way that pleases them, even if it’s different than what you like
• Acknowledge and Appreciate all that your partner does and all that they are
• Work on staying relaxed and if you get tense consider how you’ve helped create that tension
• Focus more on what you like than what you don’t
• Move from pleasurable moment to pleasurable moment-let go of agendas and outcomes
• Give freely without expectation
• Pay attention to the “little things” that create sweet connections
• Honor your partner’s world (hopes & fears) as much as you honor your own
As I re-read this big list, I’m thinking that it could be easy to get overwhelmed and not even want to try anything. But here’s the good news; picking one or two that speak to you and trying them on for a time will alter your experience; in sex, in life or both. So, go ahead, be experimental and have fun!
Our long-distance relationship counseling/coaching is a unique blend of education, skill building, and facilitating you to grow into the partner/person you would like to be in your relationships.
Our private 3 or 4-day retreats serve one couple at time. Some of the top priorities that we address are: breaking through unresolved issues, extra-marital affairs, deepening communication, increasing sex and intimacy.
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