Conscious Relationships Can Be Sexy!

During our work this week with a couple trying to improve their sexual relating, I found myself thinking about some of what goes into creating a more fulfilling sexual experience. After a little while, I had the thought that these elements are not just what’s needed for a better sexual experience, but are necessary for a better relationship and even a better life!

• Breathe…

• Relax your body

• Slow wayyyyyyy down

• Get more present to your moment-to-moment experience

• Enjoy every pleasant sensation and try not to resist any unpleasant ones

• If something’s not working, stop and talk about it

• Stay in the moment and do your best to let go of future expectations or outcomes

• Become more aware of your own needs and fears

• Communicate your wishes clearly and lovingly

• Maintain a loving connection with your partner; look, laugh, share

• Let the experience unfold-delicious moment by delicious moment

• Ask for what you want without demanding that you get it

• Receive fully what you get and let go of what you don’t

• Feel all of your feelings without making them your partner’s fault

• Give to your partner in the way that pleases them, even if it’s different than what you like

• Acknowledge and Appreciate all that your partner does and all that they are

• Work on staying relaxed and if you get tense consider how you’ve helped create that tension

• Focus more on what you like than what you don’t

• Move from pleasurable moment to pleasurable moment-let go of agendas and outcomes

• Give freely without expectation

• Pay attention to the “little things” that create sweet connections

• Honor your partner’s world (hopes & fears) as much as you honor your own

As I re-read this big list, I’m thinking that it could be easy to get overwhelmed and not even want to try anything. But here’s the good news; picking one or two that speak to you and trying them on for a time will alter your experience; in sex, in life or both. So, go ahead, be experimental and have fun!


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