Conscious Relationships Can Be Sexy!

During our work this week with a couple trying to improve their sexual relating, I found myself thinking about some of what goes into creating a more fulfilling sexual experience. After a little while, I had the thought that these elements are not just what’s needed for a better sexual experience, but are necessary for a better relationship and even a better life!

• Breathe…

• Relax your body

• Slow wayyyyyyy down

• Get more present to your moment-to-moment experience

• Enjoy every pleasant sensation and try not to resist any unpleasant ones

• If something’s not working, stop and talk about it

• Stay in the moment and do your best to let go of future expectations or outcomes

• Become more aware of your own needs and fears

• Communicate your wishes clearly and lovingly

• Maintain a loving connection with your partner; look, laugh, share

• Let the experience unfold-delicious moment by delicious moment

• Ask for what you want without demanding that you get it

• Receive fully what you get and let go of what you don’t

• Feel all of your feelings without making them your partner’s fault

• Give to your partner in the way that pleases them, even if it’s different than what you like

• Acknowledge and Appreciate all that your partner does and all that they are

• Work on staying relaxed and if you get tense consider how you’ve helped create that tension

• Focus more on what you like than what you don’t

• Move from pleasurable moment to pleasurable moment-let go of agendas and outcomes

• Give freely without expectation

• Pay attention to the “little things” that create sweet connections

• Honor your partner’s world (hopes & fears) as much as you honor your own

As I re-read this big list, I’m thinking that it could be easy to get overwhelmed and not even want to try anything. But here’s the good news; picking one or two that speak to you and trying them on for a time will alter your experience; in sex, in life or both. So, go ahead, be experimental and have fun!


  • Counseling

    Our long-distance relationship counseling/coaching is a unique blend of education, skill building, and facilitating you to grow into the partner/person you would like to be in your relationships.

  • Intensives

    Our private 3 or 4-day retreats serve one couple at time. Some of the top priorities that we address are: breaking through unresolved issues, extra-marital affairs, deepening communication, increasing sex and intimacy.

  • Workshops

    In our weekend couples workshops you will rejuvenate, refresh, and reawaken love, intimacy, communication, and laughter. You’ll learn and practice skills, and go home able to integrate them into your life together.
    View all workshops on our Calendar here.